


Y E A R S

by Haddi_Etana3



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bro isnt a dick, Bullying, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Dad is a dick tho, Death, John's mommy dies, Like, M/M, dick-supreme, he's not abusive and is actually supportive, i'll add tags as i go, mega dick, super dick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-05-29 22:30:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6396544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haddi_Etana3/pseuds/Haddi_Etana3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time we met was over a purple plastic truck in a sandbox. I fought for it, you fought back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Y E A R O N E

**JANUARY** : The first time we met was over a purple plastic truck in a sandbox. I fought for it, you fought back. You were persistent on having my truck (“Ahem, it was originally _mine_ ,” you’d claim years after).

We each went home with three bruises and were grounded three days.

Later that week mom and Bro set up an “apology play-date.” We said our sorry’s, mumbling them while stubbornly crossing our arms. They told us to play nice and went to relax and talk.

I got a broken nose, you got a broken finger.

* * *

 **FEBRUARY** : I spent the entire month banned from sweets.

* * *

 **MARCH** : Mom, Dad, and Bro met up and took us along. They watched us carefully that day. From then on, I started to trust you.

Me and you playing together becomes a weekly thing.

* * *

 **APRIL** : Finally I meet Rose, your cousin, and you meet Jade, my sister. We avoided the girls all day, but they kept finding us and making us play dress up. I thought it was fun after a bit. So did you.

It’s my birthday and I’m five. Jade gives me a drawing with so much glitter that it gets all over the carpet. Rose gives me a poem she made in class called “How to Clean Your Hands Right” that got a “Good Job!” sticker. You gave me a red play-dough heart that’s cracked from drying and said, “It’s my brain.”

I put your “brain” in a jar.

* * *

 

 **MAY** : I stay the night and see your house for the first time. When I saw the puppets I started to cry and you hid me under the blankets. You tell me you’d protect me from them. Since we never left your room your brother ate dinner with us in there.

You assumed I thought your family was weird and creepy. I told you they were the best people I knew, but you were probably the only people I knew besides my own family at the time. You still appreciated it.

When I went home I cried because I didn’t want to leave you with the evil puppets.

* * *

 **JUNE** : Summer break came and all our guardians pitched in so we could go to Disneyland. We couldn’t stop smiling during the entire car ride, all four of us continuously chanting, “Disneyland! Disneyland!”

The first ride was Rose’s pick. She chose the tea cups. Jade went second, and she demanded to see Donald Duck. She didn’t really understand the rules. You wanted to go on the nearest roller-coaster. The adults said no, and you started crying and pouting, so Bro suggested the Water Logs. You loved it.

Before we got to my pick it started to rain.

* * *

 **JULY** : For two days we were in the hotel room. We didn’t stop having fun, though, and played different games. One was guessing what we wanted to be when we were older. Jade constantly guessed at Rose’s, (“A book maker? A movie star? A singer? Someone who makes crayons!”) but never got it right. Rose refused to tell us and we all gave up.

We guessed at Jade’s. When we finally gave in she squealed she wanted to marry me, crushing me in a hug. You then yelled that no, it was gonna be _you_ who’d marry me. Both of you fought until mom and Bro calmed you both down.

When the rain let up I was able to finally decide the ride. I choose the Buzz Light-year one and we spent the entire ride trying to crawl out of the seats to touch the displays.

On our way home there was I begged to sit in mom’s lap since it was crowded in the backseat, so she let me. We kept trying to guess Rose’s future job when waiting in a toll line.

It was halfway home when a big truck hit us, causing two more cars to hit us and massive back up in traffic. When I woke upside down and my chest burning the firefighter told me not to look at mom and I didn’t. All I did know was that there was a pole right beside my head.

In the hospital Jade asked dad if mom put on a red dress that morning.

* * *

 **AUGUST** : Even though I didn’t fully get what happened, I did know mom wasn’t coming home anytime soon.

* * *

 

 **SEPTEMBER** : Me and Jade go to therapy. I only go once while she keeps going.

I get an inhaler for my funny breathing.

* * *

 

 **OCTOBER** : You and Rose always come over, and every night we had dessert with Rose’s mom and your Bro. Dad kept making cakes. He always made cakes when nervous.

Jade moves in with Grandpapa, and me and her overhear Dad say she looks too much like mom.

All four of us go trick or treating with your Bro; Dad was too sad, Rose’s mom got funny and stumbled a lot, and Grandpapa was too weak.

* * *

 

 **NOVEMBER** : You come over while I was reading my first book. You took it out of my hands, threw it to the back of my closet, then sat next to me. When I tried to get it you stopped me and told me, “I’m the only book you need.”

We left a spot open during Thanksgiving.

* * *

 

 **DECEMBER** : Jade had her birthday. I gave her a candy ring as a “Wedding Ring” (I gave you one when she wasn't looking), you got her a Donald Duck dollie, and Rose wrote a poem on the importance of buckling your seat-belt.

Your birthday was next, and I made you an ugly brown sword of construction paper. Jade gave you a drawing of all of us together, then one of herself. She said that you needed someone “good-lookin’” as a reference. Rose gave you a poem on the safeties of walking in line in the hallway.

On Rose’s birthday we all give her poems.

It’s Christmas and everyone gathered at Rose’s house. We were forced to dress in nice little tuxedos and pretty dresses. When no adults were around we’d pull and tug, mumbling about how it was funny to breathe.

On New Year’s Eve we all played with sparklers and watched the fireworks. We were told if we made a wish at twelve it’d come true. When the time came Jade cried out, “I want more sparklers!”

Miss Lalonde stayed over at my house with Rose for the night. Her and I listened to Dad sobbing from the staircase. Miss Lalonde comforted him with some funny smelling drinks and paps.


	2. Y E A R T W O

**JANUARY:** Dad tries to buy me a book but I refuse to read it and throw it into the closet.

Dad tells me it’s an important day and I instantly know. That day is the first day we met.

* * *

 

**FEBRUARY:** The adults gather us for Valentine’s Day. I still don’t really understand it completely, but I knew you give hearts to your friends and say nice things about them. I give you, Jade, and Rose a heart.

I visit your house for the second time. We avoid the puppets as much as we can.

I cry when I leave again. You say you can protect yourself against them.

* * *

**MARCH:** On Easter Rose finds most of the eggs, but Jade finds none. You give her all your eggs before she starts crying.

* * *

**APRIL:** On my birthday Jade gives me a “magic rock” she found. You give me a drawing of us together that you claim took you a week, but Bro whispers to Mom he made it last year and it took an hour to draw. Rose gives me a little book she made from construction paper and counts the things I like. You allow the book.

* * *

**MAY:** Bro is babysitting us and decides to take us to Peter Piper’s Pizza. Dad finds out and gets mad because Bro didn’t ask. I wasn't allowed to visit for a month.

* * *

**JULY:** We visit mom’s grave together. We aren’t there for 10 minutes when Dad tells Bro and Grandpapa to take us to the car. Dad drives us home with red eyes.

While visiting Grandpapa’s house I ask you three where mom went. Everyone shrugs.

“Mommy said that she is working to keep you happy.” Roses states

“Bro said your mom had passed…” You paused, “A big test and was going to be gone for a little bit!”

Jade just stayed quiet.

* * *

**AUGUST:** We start actual school and it’s nothing like pre-K. All four of us get put in Miss. Treese’s class and we all sit together and stay together.

I accidently lost my glasses, but a boy named Karkat found them for me. He’s mean, but also real nice.

* * *

**SEPTEMBER:** We have to read in class and I tell Ms. Treese that I can’t read. When she asks why I tell her, “It’s illegal in Strider town.”

* * *

**OCTOBER:** Me, Rose, Dad, and Miss Lalonde go to the park where we first met. I watch Miss Lalonde rub Dad’s back while his hands hold his head.

Dad doesn’t take me Trick or Treating.

* * *

**NOVEMBER:** I go to your house and Dad warns Bro to tell him where he takes us. We run off to your room as fast as we can, slamming and locking the door so the puppets can’t get in.

At night I ask you when mom’s coming home. You mumble soon, so I tell Dad on the way home. I listen to him cry that night.

We leave a seat open on Thanksgiving.

* * *

**DECEMBER:** Jade’s birthday comes up and she gets a big doll house from Dad, so she spends almost her entire birthday playing with it. I give her a pretty hair tie I bought with fifty cents I found in the couches at home. You give her a bracelet you made but it falls apart when she tries to put it on. When you cry \she tapes it to her wrist. Rose gives her a snowflake with minimal glitter.

On your birthday I got you a penguin, even though you didn’t like penguins. Rose gave you a pretty clay sword she made, and Jade brings you some of her suckers, though it ended up stuck to your glasses.

Rose’s birthday we play lazer tag, and after four games (half you won, the other half Jade won) we give her our presents. Jade gave her a pink pony, and I give her a Raggedy Ann I found at a garage sale, but dad helped me clean it (He cleaned, I watched). You give her a charm bracelet you made from beads.

For Christmas we gather at the Lalonde’s. Dad didn’t want any presents, and refused any that were offered. He didn’t even accept mine. Later that night I watched him take a present from Ms. Lalonde. He opened it and kissed her as thanks.

I laid in bed and cried myself to sleep, chanting, “I hate Miss Lalonde."

On New Years I don’t want to go to Grandpapa’s, but dad makes me. I sit out and don’t want to participate, but you decide it’s unfair and sit next to me. We watch the girls play with sparklers. At twelve o’clock I wish it’ll be the year daddy will love me more. You’re the only one I tell and you pinky swear not to tell anyone.


	3. Y E A R T H R E E

******JANUARY:** When we get back from Christmas break and we have to write what we did. You said it was fun, and I said we didn’t do anything.

In the middle of class Karkat gets pushed inside the room by a boy who looks a lot like him. He had a lot of scratches and bruises. He doesn’t tell anyone why so we try to make him but he just pushes us and runs off during recess.

You and Karkat’s friend, Gamzee, end up slapping each other, but the teachers saw you so you both get in trouble and go to the principal’s office because you don’t do things like that.

On the first day we met I give you a flower crown. You say it’s just your style.

* * *

**FEBRUARY:** I still don’t really understand Valentines. Dad says it's a time to remind people to keep loving no matter what, to tell your family and friends they matter and apologize to enemies.

I make you apologize to Gamzee by giving him a paper heart.

A girl named Terezi joins our school and the teacher tells us to be careful with her, that she can’t see anymore. Karkat sticks to her like glue. When I ask her what happened to her eyes she just mumbles, “Ask Vriska.”

Vriska is a bit weird, so I don’t.

* * *

**MARCH:** Bro remembers to ask Dad if I can go to  _ Chuck E. Cheese _ . He says yes. We climb up through the biggest tube and play Cops and Robbers in the play place. We stay until we get asked to leave.

As the teacher’s helper I need to hand out papers in class to everyone. Vriska tells me my spiderman shirt is cool and I think her braids are cool. We start playing together.

I have my first big asthama attack when we’re running around on the playground, but I left my inhaler in the classroom. The second you realized I was having an attack you ran to the classroom on the other side of school and ran back. One of the teachers joked afterward that it sounded like you needed it more than me.

* * *

**APRIL:** It’s my birthday and I’m finally seven. I get a big book on pranking from Dad, even though I can’t read that well yet. You say it's not really reading, just mostly pictures, so you let it slide. You give me a flower crown, kinda like the one I made for you, but messier and it keeps falling apart. I say it's just my style. Rose gives me a tasty candy ring that her and her mom made together. Jade gives me a drawing, and it's a lot better than all the others she’d made.

Rose comes over and stays for a while. Daddy and Ms. Lalonde stay in daddy’s room most of the time. Whenever the door open only Ms. Lalonde comes out.

I stay over at your house for a bit, but Rose stays too. Daddy says him and Ms. Lalonde need some alone time together. Rose doesn’t care about the puppets.

I ask you why mommy hadn’t sent me any birthday presents that year, and you say she can’t. I ask when she’s coming home. You say soon.

* * *

**MAY:** I ask daddy if we can go somewhere for the summer like all the other kids are and he gets mad at me. He tells me to go to my room and to stay there until he says I can come out. I’m in there for the entire day.

* * *

**JUNE:** I stay with grandpapa and Jade for a while at their house. It takes longer to get there than it takes to get to your’s or Rose’s. Jade shows me their dog Bec and says he's the nicest nice dog ever! He tackles me once I see him, and I giggle and hug him.

When I tell Jade that Mommy is coming home soon, we get really happy. We tell Grandpapa. He doesn't say anything to us.

When I go home, Dad sits me down on a couch and says "Mommy isn't coming home" I laugh and say "Of course she is!" He sends me to my room again.

* * *

**JULY:** We visit the graveyard again and I sit in the car with Rose, you, Jade, and Bec. Bec keeps running over my legs and we laugh as he constantly licks your face. When he tries licking your glasses, you scold him. When they get back, Daddy's eyes had gotten all red again.

Over the month, Rose's mom comes over more with Rose, and she stays the night more.

* * *

**AUGUST:** I visit your house again, and I ask you like all the other times, "When is Mommy coming home?" You give me the same answer, "Soon" and you wrap me in your arms. I start getting tired of that answer.

Most of the time, we stay in your room. Before my daddy gets to your house to pick me up, you hug me and don't let go. I don't understand why.

We start school again, and it's 2nd grade. We get the same class as last year.

* * *

**SEPTEMBER:** Me, you, and Rose visit grandpapa's house. When we get there Bec starts licking you again "He really likes you!" Jade giggles. "Get off!" You cry.

In the other room I can hear grandpapa talking over the phone "Tell him that things will get better... he can't continue to ignore him... He's just a boy!... John doesn't even realize what's happening around him... If he won't take care of him, I will!"

I run back to Jade's room and quietly shake your shoulders to wake you up. You scoot over and let me hide under the blanket with you. Rose and you go home. I don't.

* * *

**OCTOBER** : For Halloween, grandpapa let's us carve pumpkins. We don't go Trick or Treating.

At school, Rose says that her mommy comes to Daddy's a lot, and Daddy goes to their house too.

* * *

**NOVEMBER** : When I ask grandpapa when I can go home, he says soon.

We go back to Dad's house, and Thanksgiving is really quiet. The air feels weird. There's one seat left open.

Everyone stays the night, you and Bro in the living room with Rose. Jade and I sleep in my room. Rose's mom and my dad take daddy's room. At night, I hear grandpapa and dad talking. When they start yelling really loudly, Dave and Rose run into the room. We all hide under the covers together while we hold each other.

Rose's mom yells at grandpapa. grandpapa yells at dad. dad yells at Bro. Bro yells at Rose's mommy. Bro and Dad scream the loudest.

"No! John is my son! No one is ever taking him away!  _ No one _ !"

"He isn't in a healthy environment and you know that!"

"He's in the perfect environment!"

"You're acting like Jade doesn't even exist!"

"Take your brat brother and get the fuck out of my house!”

There's a punch. More follows after.

All of you get taken away from my bed, and I’m left alone. Dad doesn’t come into the room, but even after everyone’s left, I can hear things breaking.

When I go to school a week later, we try avoiding the subject. Karkat notices us being tense and demands to know what's wrong. I don't tell him.

* * *

**DECEMBER** :  When Karkat keeps pressing, I break under the pressure and he awkwardly hugs me.

Nothing's celebrated, no gifts are given.


	4. Y E A R F O U R

**JANUARY** : We come back from winter break, and the teacher ask us what we did. ' _ It was fun _ '.

We notice Jade being absent a lot.

On the day we met we sit under a tree at recess while I teach you to make a flower crown. You still suck at it, but I can't lie, "You're doing better!"

When Bro picks you up, he tells you to go to the car and talks to me. He kneels in front of me, putting a hand on my shoulder "I'm sorry, John." He hugs me and leaves. I wave you both good-bye.

* * *

**FEBRUARY:** I make everyone in our class a card for Valentine's day, and during the party we eat cake and drink root-beer floats. We laugh and have fun. At home I wonder why dad doesn’t give me any Valentine’s like he does with Ms. Lalonde.

Some kids begin bullying me at school, but I won't tell anyone.

* * *

**MARCH** : Dad gives me a computer, telling me to occupy myself with it, but only if I finish my homework first. I jump on the moment he leaves the room and begin playing it immediately. I hadn't done my homework.

Rose and Jade are absent. We both spend three days just talking to each other instead of talking to others. You seems that you are the only one who understands how scared I was in November.

Karkat comes with a black eye, and he tells everyone it's from a baseball when playing with his brother.

Vriska and I talk about how she likes the number eight a lot.

On Easter the entire school looks for eggs around the playground for prizes. The ultimate prize is given to who finds the golden egg. Gamzee finds it, but he gives it to a boy named Tavros. Tavros gets a whole bunch of candy, and he shares it with Gamzee.

* * *

**APRIL** : When April the first comes around, I play my first prank. I keep hitting you with rubber bands, but the second you turn to look at me, I look down. At recess, you tell me that you know it was me. We say next time we'll do it to Jade.

I'm eight. When the subject of my birthday comes up, Dad tells me the computer is the present and goes to the kitchen to make even more cakes.

The class doesn't hesitate to sing me  _ Happy Birthday _ . I blush, looking at the floor with an embarrassed grin. When we go outside, Jade gives me three clay rings she made in art class, Rose gives me a card with a dollar in it, and you give me three things. One of them is a card from Bro, and the other is from yourself. Your present is a fake blow-up sword.

At home I read Bro's letter:

" _ Happy Birthday, John _

_ I'm sorry things have gone bad, and things that happened shouldn't had. If you need anything, you can come to Dave or me for it. _

_ -Bro _ "

* * *

**MAY** : Vriska and I play pirates, and I end up falling off a log and break my leg. Vriska keeps apologizing, but I'm crying too much to say anything.

When Dad comes to see me in the hospital, he scolds me and leaves. I wonder why he doesn't love me anymore.

When Bro and you see me you run into the room and hug me as tight as you can. "Be careful, Dave," warned Bro. When you ask me about what cake Dad made me on my birthday, I say none. You guys leave.

Rose and Rose's Mommy comes, and Rose holds my hand, looking like she wants to cry. Rose's Mom kisses my forehead and says I'll see them soon. When they’re both gone I rub the kiss off into my pillow.

Grandpapa and Jade come in, and Jade instantly cries when she sees me, jumping on my hospital bed and hugging me tightly. Grandpapa tells Jade to get off, but I hug her back. I miss my sister. Grandpapa gives me chocolate, and he kisses my forehead and leaves with a sobbing Jade.

Vriska comes with her mom, and her mom pushes her in. Vriska looks up at me and begins crying, "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry." and I grab her hand and tell her it's fine. I then promise her when I get better I'll play pirates again.

The next day, you and Bro bring me a big chocolate cake. We all eat it together.

* * *

**JUNE** : While Dad's visiting, Grandpapa and Jade come in. Doctors tell grandpapa and dad to leave because they’re upsetting patients. Jade waves goodbye before she says hello.

When you visit again, I tell you what happened. Bro apologizes and hugs me. When I ask why daddy doesn't love me anymore, Bro won't reply. People seem to be doing that a lot more lately.

I'm out of the hospital with a cast. I then realize you can't see me until school comes back around. I sit in my room, spending my time alone on the internet after making up all my homework.

* * *

**JULY** : Daddy goes to the graveyard without me.

You sneak into my room and I ask you what you're doing. You said, "I have to see my best bro every once in awhile" You give me your name on a chat place called Pesterchum. I talk to you every single day.

My cast comes off.

* * *

**AUGUST** : School starts for third grade. I play pirates with Vriska.

I hug Rose and Jade on the first day, telling them how I missed them. I have my class with Rose. You have yours with Jade. The only time we talk is at Recess.

My reading level is below average. You un-ban reading in Strider Town.

* * *

**SEPTEMBER** : Karkat ends up breaking his arm and doesn't come to school. When I ask daddy if I can go visit him, he says 'no' and sends me to my room.

I ask you to sneak in my room. When you do, you lie down with me and hug me while I cry. If I'm too loud Dad'll get mad. When I wake up, you're still there.

* * *

**OCTOBER** : I hear kids talking about funny words, like ' _ sex _ ' and ' _ rape _ '.

The bullies keep bullying me, and they push me off the top of the slide and I fall on my leg I broke. When I'm limping, you ask why. I say I fell.

We didn't celebrate Halloween that year.

* * *

**NOVEMBER** : When the teacher ask what I was for Halloween, I say "A ghost"

Rose walks up and hugs me, then kisses me. She says I can tell her anything.

On Thanksgiving, dad sits at the table, talking to the empty seat across from him as he eats his dinner.

* * *

**DECEMBER** : It's Jade's birthday, I give her the present at school. I give her a macaroni picture.

It's your birthday, we sit on the swing sets. I try giving you your present, but you stop me and say you won't take it. When I ask why, you stand up, walk to me, and peck me on the lips. "That's my birthday present"

It's Rose's birthday, I give her a plastic necklace I found on the floor and had rinsed off. She wears it everyday.

It's closer to winter break, and Jade gives me the prettiest bracelet I have ever seen, and tells me to keep it safe and away from daddy. I do.

When it is the break, and you make sure to talk to me all you can over the internet. I make sure to talk to you too.

No Christmas celebrating.

When the New Year comes, I sneak outside and watch the stars and listen to the popping of fireworks. I wish that in the year Daddy and Bro will make up. I beg and beg that he'll love me too.


End file.
